My physical pain is just too great. I can barely write this message. I feel as if I have lost my battle to walk independently. Every day after I practice walking using a walker I get searing, stabbing nerve pain down both paralyzed feet. I am in bed with nightmarish stabbing pain. Am scaring my roommate because I have needed to scream today every few minutes. I'm downing Lyrica like candy. After two days of bed rest I usually feel much better, and the pain is manageable. Well, this is it. Sometimes God does say no. I won't walk again until either I have an operation for the pain, and/or I get much better drugs. Swimming will be my exercise until I can't do that. It is cruel to encourage someone to experience this level of pain to achieve independence. I might have several years left, and I want them to be as pain free as possible since I have some freedom of choice in this regard. Hope this torture will end.